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Cut Week

Ah, the best part.  Cutting weight.  Some of you may have read my post about the actual weight cut from my last fight.  The week of the cut is almost as fun.

RULE #1:  Drink 2 gallons of distilled water a day.  The distillation process removes all of the dissolved minerals in the water.  The result is water that absorbs minerals in your body such as sodium and potassium, and makes you pee them out.  It also tastes like iron for some reason.  Very appetizing.  Some hippies use distilled water on their “cleanse” diets.

Distilled Water

RULE #2:  Low carbohydrates.  Carbohydrates in the food we eat are what give us energy.  Unfortunately, they also make you retain water.  The week of the cut the only carbohydrates I eat come from raw fruits and vegetables.  The result is a skinny, sluggish, grumpy Thunder.

RULE #3:  No sodium (hence the distilled water).  If you’re ever bored at the grocery store, take a look at the labels on all the food and beverages.  They will all have one thing in common — sodium.  That’s because sodium (and added sugar — see the low carbohydrate rule above) is what makes food taste good.  Pretty much the only things I eat during the week of the cut are plain cooked meats, fruits, and vegetables.  No Brothers BBQ.  No Chick-Fil-A.

When I travel for my fights, I always pack a George Foreman grill.  In case you didn’t know, the Foreman grill really knocks out the fat.  I usually head to the nearest grocery store, buy a pack of chicken breasts, some apples to snack on, and some broccoli or asparagus.  Then it’s onto Foreman-grilled chicken breasts and grilled broccoli for the rest of the week.  By the end of the week, I’m hungry as hell, but not inspired enough to make it through another bland meal.

Luckily, when I’m home, my wife (who is much more creative in the kitchen than me), hooks up some great low-sodium and low-carbohydrate meals.  I also have my smoker at home.  Although it doesn’t “knock out the fat”, the meat that comes out of it tastes much better than their grilled counterparts.

It's Fish

Smoked salmon with mango salsa and roasted garlic broccolettes.

So here I am, on the Thursday night before weigh ins, about to have my last meal before the cut.  At least I’m not as miserable as I would be if I were on the road.

See you guys Saturday night.

How to Cut Weight

Have you ever wondered how to cut weight? Here’s a step-by-step guide.

1. Wake up, pee, and step on the scale. Forget how awful the weight cutting process is and say to yourself, “this one won’t be that bad”.

2. Rub this crap all over your body. Wait a half hour. Start sweating.

Albolene

3. Block all the vents, put a towel under the door of the bathroom, and turn on the space heater.

4. Run the bath as hot as you can stand it, and pour all this stuff in. Let the smell hit your nose, experience previous weight-cutting-experience flashbacks, and immediately regret your job.

Sald and Alcohol Bath

5. Get in the tub, lay down until you feel like you’re about to pass out, then sit up for five minutes. Repeat. A bunch of times.

6. Get out, dry off, throw on a plastic sauna suit, and wrap yourself in blankets for about fifteen minutes.

7. Get on the scale, see that you still have two pounds left to cut. Put your soul back together, but don’t stop crying — the tears are water weight.

8. Repeat the entire process until the scale says 145.00.

-The End.

Training Log: Circuit at Steadman Hawkins

Three days a week, I do my strength and conditioning training with coach Eric Telly down at the Steadman Hawkins clinic in the Denver Tech Center.  The Steadman Hawkins clinic specializes in orthopedic surgery and rehabilitation.  (Somewhat) recently, their sports rehab program has spawned a sports performance program, led by strength and conditioning guru Loren Landow.  Most of the Grudge team does their s&c work at Steadman Hawkins, as well as a host of NFL, NBA, NHL, MLB, and countless other professional athletes.  The team at Steadman Hawkins is on some next-level type ish when it comes to the science behind sports performance.

My Monday and Wednesday workouts are usually speed/power/strength days — my workouts consist of compound lifts, plyometric exercises, anaerobic routines, etc.  My Friday workouts are simply the worst.  Every Friday, Eric puts together a brutal circuit for me — three five-minute rounds with a minute rest in between, obviously to simulate a fight.  Here was my workout from last Friday.

  • 6 Dumbbell Squat Jumps
  • 7 Plyometric Pushups
  • 20 sec. of Russian Lunges (alternating lunges)
  • 20 sec. hold on the TRX bands
  • 20 sec. sprint on the Versaclimber (I hate this thing)
  • 6 ball slams
  • 7 Reactive Burpees (Sprawl, catch and throw a medicine ball back)
  • 20 Mountain Climbers
  • 12 sec. sprint forward on the Upper Body Ergometer (I also hate this thing)
  • 12 sec. sprint backwards onthe UBE
  • 2 resisted sprints down the hallway
  • 1 min. shadowboxing